LIFE LESSONS I LEARNED IN FEBRUARY 2023
BOUNDARIES, COMPASSION, AND GROWTH
Every month I like to reflect over the weeks and actively seek out the lessons to learn from my experiences. Every thing we experience, be it positive or negative, and most definitely the negative, can teach us something if we are open to growth and development. Sometimes we have to trawl through some raw emotion to get to those lightbulb moments, but it's worth it to come out the other side having a positive and healthier mindset. At the end of each month I sit and write out the thoughts, observations, and revelations about myself and the human condition, and hope you can take away something from them too.
BOUNDARIES ARE BOTH PROTECTIVE AND RESTRICTIVE.
Setting personal boundaries is essential to maintaining our health. Whether they are physical, emotional, intellectual, or even financial, boundaries help to protect us from the expectations of others and from ourselves. Without them, or with loose boundaries, we are at risk of disappointment, pain, of giving too much of ourselves or being taken advantage of, and general over-extending of our concern, time, energy and love. However, if boundaries are too many or too rigid, we risk isolation and alienating ourselves from important relationships and roles. Tight boundaries can be too restrictive and while they keep you safe in your comfort zones, they limit your potential by not allowing challenges and opportunity for growth. Recognising when and how boundaries need to be strengthened or loosened is key to our emotional, psychological, and physical wellbeing.
REFILLING YOUR COMPASSION BUCKET.
When referring to our capacity for emotions we generally analogize with some form of cavity; wells of sadness, pits of depression, buckets of love, etc. Recently I’ve become aware of how empty my bucket of compassion has been of late. Compassion is something that we can give willingly to others and ourselves, but can also get drained away and depleted through those aforementioned loose boundaries. A leaky bucket if you will. When your compassion bucket is running low one of two things can happen. One, that you continue to give whatever you have, even if it leaves little compassion for yourself, in the hopes that the act of love and kindness to others has enough power to pull you back to a place of grace, gratitude, and self-love. Enough to refill your bucket. When we have self-love, we have unlimited compassion. Or two, your boundaries tighten up to protect your precious limited stores, boundaries that close you off and prevent compassion and love from flowing in or out. And now you’re stuck. Compassion nurtures compassion, and self-love nurtures love to all. Without them how do we even begin to replenish our souls? For me the key to reconnecting is opening myself up to joy and gratitude. By surrounding myself with people I love, and doing things that bring me joy and remind me of my own individual greatness. It sounds conceited, but by doing things that I am passionate about, that allow me to be creative, that I am grateful to have achieved in my life, reminds me to love myself whole-heartedly. It begs to be repeated but when we have self-love, our capacity for compassion is boundless.
TO THRIVE IS TO GROW.
As humans, and as all things in nature, we are designed to grow and evolve. When we feel stuck in a rut, and life feels a bit stale and stagnant, we are missing that element of growth. We flourish and thrive when we experience new things, when we learn, when we create. Even the anticipation of these things can be nourishing enough to encourage growth. When was the last time you read a new book, learned a new skill, or experienced something different?