HOW TO STICK TO YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
Keeping to your new year resolutions can always be a bit of challenge. Especially if it’s something that is very new to you, or something that is out of your regular routine of life and out of your comfort zone. We start the year with gusto, but as we dive deeper into the long dark month of January it can get harder to maintain. And before you know it, your new goal has fallen by the wayside, abandoned on the side of the road like an old Christmas tree.
So how do we stick to our new resolutions? Read on to find out some tips to help you stay on track, and how to make resolutions that you can actually stick to in the first place, giving you a much higher chance of success.
Whether you make new year resolutions or not, the start of a new year always sparks a desire to make changes to our lives. It’s a natural instinct. The end of a year is the end of one year long chapter in the story of our lives. So consciously or subconsciously we look at the new year as a new exciting chapter, and making new year resolutions is our way of making the next chapter more thrilling than the last.
But even with all the desire and good intention in the world, we sometimes can’t make those resolutions last out the month let alone the whole year. Where are we going wrong? Why is it so hard to stick to new year resolutions?
The answer comes down to two things:
HOW MUCH do you want to do it
HOW you are going to do it
Step 1 is obvious. Your new year resolution (or any goal for that matter) has to be something you actually want to do. All of it. The good and bad elements of it. If you’re just not that interested or there’s a part of it that puts you off from doing it, then you just won’t be that committed and risk a higher chance failing.
Step 2 is the hard part. Once you know what you want to do, you have to figure out how to do it. And even how to NOT not do it, where doing it is actually easier than not doing it. Come up with a plan of execution, and a contingency plan for when things go wrong to help you stay on track.
PLAN AHEAD TO STICK TO YOUR NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
Your plan should answer the following questions:
What can you add to make it easy for you to stick to your goal?
Adding things to your life to make your new goal easy might include making it glaringly obvious and unavoidable, like setting reminder alarms or Post-It notes everywhere. You might make it easier by attaching it to something that you already do, and build it into an existing routine. Think about what you need to buy, what you need to change, what you need to organise, to make it all doable?
What can you remove to make it easy for you to stick to your goal?
Removing involves avoiding certain things and situations that would tempt you into giving up on your resolution. What do you need to reduce, throw away, re-schedule, to make it easier to not give in?
What will motivate/incentivise you to stick to your goal?
Using tracking apps, log journals or any means of visual tracking can motivate you to stick to your plan. Who doesn’t like seeing a great track record or winning streak? And then reward yourself with something nice for staying on track. You might even want to do this with a friend to make it more fun and help you more accountable. It’s harder to give something up when someone else is relying on your support. A sense of pride in achievement can be just as motivating as a tangible reward, but either way, what will make all your hard work more worthwhile?
MAKE A RESOLUTION THAT YOU CAN STICK TO FOR GREATER CHANCE OF SUCCESS
Sticking to your new year resolution is about wanting to do it and having a good plan of how to do. But what if you only kind of want to do it, and only have half a plan. Is that good enough for success? Probably not. If you go into it with only half of the intention and commitment, then chances are you’ll fall at the first hurdle or the 10th. If you’re only partially interested in this particular new year resolution, maybe you’re better off adjusting it and make it something that is more achievable and stick to it for longer. In this task we look at your chosen new year resolution and assess the likelihood of sticking to it.
Decide what your new year resolution will be and, given your current lifestyle, mindset, and environment, give that goal a realistic success rate out of 5.
0 – No chance. I don’t want to do it so I won’t even try.
1 – I know I should do it, but I don’t really want to. I’ll try it, but if something gets in the way I will give up straight away.
2 – I do kind of want to do it, so I’ll try it. But if something gets in the way I am likely to give up.
3 – I do want to do it, so will definitely give it a try. But if something gets in the way, I’ll try not give up but will if it gets too hard.
4 – I really want to do it, and will do the best I can. If something gets in the way, I will try my hardest to not give up.
5 – Totally doable. I really want to do this, I have a plan and am ready to do whatever it takes, and make the necessary sacrifices to do it.
If you scored 5:
Congratulations! You have unrealistic expectations or delusions of your own abilities! Just kidding!!! Although to be fair sometimes there can be some truth to this. So if you scored 5, re-evaluate your goal rating, ask yourself some serious ‘what if this happens’ questions, and if you have solid answers to them and still score a 5 then…
“I’m in it for the long term. Giving up never even crosses my mind.”
Congratulations! You’ve totally got this. You know exactly what you want and how you’re going to achieve it. You are in a great place with a strong mindset, with good mental and emotional strength to carry this out. You have an action plan as well as a contingency plan for when things may get tough, and you have a good support network to help you achieve this. Go forth and smash this. Here’s to a better you in 2020.
However, do be cautious, as striving for perfection and going too far an extreme can be unsustainable. It may result in eventual backlash and some serious falling off of the wagon.
If you scored 4:
“Near perfect is good enough.”
And it really can be. It is great to have a goal and to work hard to achieve them. But when life throws us curveballs, being flexible is really good for us. We may not be 100% all the time, but consistency is the key to long term change. Achieving 80-90% is a great success and much more sustainable for the long term. So here’s looking to a great start to 2020 and beyond!
If you scored 3:
“I’ll give it a good try.”
And the effort is commendable. Consider what some of the obstacles may be to you achieving your goal, and come up with a plan to overcome them. What would make this a higher success rate? Do you need to change the goal ever so slightly so that it is more achievable and likely success of 4-5?
If you scored 2:
“I’ll try it for a while but it’s not really me.”
This goal you have in mind is probably too big of a change right now and you’re just not that interested in it so you won’t commit. Consider breaking down the goal into something smaller, more achievable and more desirable. Once you’ve broken it down to a smaller goal, reassess your likely success rating until you can make it 3-5.
If you scored 0 -1 :
“I know I won’t do it.”
This goal just isn’t for you. Find something else that inspires you, and score your success rate again until you find something that is 3-5 doable.
As an example of assessing your likelihood of success, and adjusting your goal in accordance, let’s take an average city worker who works long hours, has a great social life, and enjoys having a drink (or two/many) a few nights of the week. Drinks with colleagues after work, drinks with friends at the weekend, a regular glass of wine at home with dinner after a hard days work, etc. The goal is Dry January, a whole month without a Single. Drop. Of alcohol.
Sounds totally doable you’re thinking. You’ve given yourself a success rating of 5. Awesome. Let’s do this.
But wait, it’s so and so’s birthday next week, and you have that work dinner, and work is so stressful right now you really need to wind down at the end of the day, and you just really like the taste of that new gin you got for Christmas…
Here’s what each scenario would look like:
“I’m in it for the long term. Giving up never even crosses my mind.”
It’s totally fine. I can happily have a night out with friends/colleagues without drinking, not be phased by peer pressure, and still have a good time. Work is really hard at the moment but I’ll spend more time going to the gym/yoga/take long walks in nature/mediating/getting a nice massage/doing nice relaxing things/get more sleep/generally look after myself. And I’ll look forward to rewarding myself with that nice gin after I’ve got through the month. Yay me!
“Near perfect is good enough.”
Ok well, I think I’ll need a drink to get through that work do, or I’d really like to enjoy the night out with my friends, but that will be the only time I have any booze, as I have other ways to stress manage, and I can save that bottle of gin for a special night.
“I’ll give it a good try.”
I can’t not drink at such and such event so that’s not going to happen. And I think I deserve a drink after a long hard day at work, but maybe I’ll try to limit it to when I really want/need it.
At this stage, consider adjusting the goal from no alcohol throughout the whole month, to only having alcohol once or twice in the month.
“I’ll try it for a while but it’s not really me.”
It’s so tempting. I don’t think I can resist the taste of it or the fun I’ll have. And I like my routine and rewarding myself with a cheeky vino at the end of the day, and don’t want to deprive myself of this kind of joy.
At this stage, consider adjusting the goal from no alcohol throughout the whole month, to only having alcohol once or twice a week for the duration of the month.
“I know I won’t do it.”
Dry what?
At this stage, focus on something else that you will have greater motivation for.
How well you stick to your new year resolution ultimately depends on setting the right goal in the first place. One that is not only something you really want to do, but something you can realistically do within your current means. And if you don’t have the means, the environment, mentality, or support to do it, then make a plan to gain them. New year resolutions are so often something we fail at, but by setting a resolution that is more realistic and practical, we give ourselves a much greater chance of sticking to them all the way through the year.